That\u2019s a saying that Michelle likes to use a lot. We\u2019ve had some debates over it in the past and, ironically, her boss, Reverend Dr. Derek Anderson, takes my side; he disagrees with the saying just as I do (although I haven\u2019t sat down to talk with him about his reasons for doing so). The saying seems to imply that there\u2019s a destiny for everybody, and the problem that many people have with that is they believe that fate is in conflict with free will. I don\u2019t actually think that\u2019s the case. I think it\u2019s possible you could have people who are completely free to choose what they want to do \u2013 yet the universe is set up in such a way that the actions of everybody are still predetermined. It wouldn\u2019t be that they are forced or compelled to do something, or that their decisions don\u2019t matter. Think of somebody videotaping the next 10 minutes of your life and the choices you freely make. After those 10 minutes, they rewind the tape and play it back. You know exactly what\u2019s going to happen because it\u2019s already happened. But that doesn\u2019t invalidate what you did at the time that the recording took place. What if the universe is like that? What if it\u2019s already all been recorded and we\u2019re just playing things back? Would you feel any less surprised by the way things turn out?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m also not sure that the saying has to imply that there\u2019s a destiny anyway. Look at somebody playing a game of chess. They move a piece from one square to the other. The movement of that piece is \u201cwhat happened\u201d (and there\u2019s also a reason for it having happened) \u2013 but it\u2019s not the case that they necessarily knew, 3 moves back, that they were going to make that move; nor is it necessarily the case that they know what\u2019s going to happen 3 moves into the future. Looking at things in that light dispenses with a set destiny, because the player is making things up as they go along, but it also challenges the idea of free will even more than the first position. (Because the piece is being moved rather than being allowed to move on its own.)<\/p>\n
My personal opinion is that things just happen to you by chance. I think that we\u2019re able to influence events to some degree, and our actions can cause some sets of events to be more likely to occur than others, but I don\u2019t think that anything is a given. Nor do I believe that there is some outside, sentient force specifically governing everything that we do and making us do things towards some purpose that remains unknown to us. (I have no reason to believe that \u2013 and I would find it to be the most terrifying thing of all if it were true \u2013 because I won\u2019t want anybody or anything directly controlling me.) Which is not to say that I don\u2019t believe there\u2019s some kind of positive \u201clife force\u201d that everything living is a part of. While I\u2019m not going to try to articulate that here, I do believe that we are all part of the same energy and that this energy is synergistic and positive.<\/p>\n
The above aside, though, what I really object to about this saying is (to me) its hypocrisy. People only say it when something good happens, either spontaneously (winning the lottery) or after something bad (being fired then finding a better job). I think of it as a kind of trite emotional band-aid \u2013 but one which is only applied after the fact \u2013 and one which is really just a crutch for having faith in yourself and being positive in your own right, rather than assuming that there are good things planned for you. (Ultimately, you need to be the captain of your own ship \u2013 otherwise you\u2019re not really living, you\u2019re just existing and going along for the ride.) The fact that it\u2019s hypocritical seems obvious to me when nobody takes it to its logical conclusion (as an objective statement) by saying it when something bad happens. I get struck down with flesh-eating disease and am told I\u2019m going to die by morning. Nobody is going to cheerfully tell me, \u201cOh, well. Everything happens for a reason!\u201d Nor did anybody go around saying that to Holocaust survivors, or people who suffered any number of other tragedies. To actually say that, in those circumstances, would be considered the height of insensitivity. But if you can\u2019t say it in those situations, at times when people need to feel hope more than any other time in their lives \u2013 when they\u2019re right at the brink of despair \u2013 then what\u2019s the use of having it has a \u201chappy catchphrase\u201d in the first place? Instead, in those cases, what\u2019s normally said is, \u201cWe\u2019ve been through bad times before, and got through them, we\u2019ll get through this too.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, not only do I not actually agree with the statement in general, I don\u2019t actually see the point in using it at all. I\u2019d rather say, \u201cCan\u2019t life be amazing sometimes?\u201d, or \u201cI\u2019ll never get over how connected everything is,\u201d or \u201cIt sure is a small world,\u201d or just, \u201cWow!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
That\u2019s a saying that Michelle likes to use a lot. We\u2019ve had some debates over it in the past and, ironically, her boss, Reverend Dr. Derek Anderson, takes my side; he disagrees with the saying just as I do (although I haven\u2019t sat down to talk with him about his reasons for doing so). The …<\/p>\n